Dee, Let Me Clear My Throat

My Personalities Say I have a Disability

New Life
Starting a new life is not easy to do
Especially when memories creep up on you
Forcing a smile is now my face
While internal scares won't erase
My thoughts are my own when even they're not
Made up of actions from other people I've got
Pain is formed in a shape I don't know
That haunts my life so I can't grow
I want so much to think in a different way
But my mind plays tricks with me and always wanting to play
How do I get to a me that's not the same
When everything else feels like a game
My time is borrowed, and my world is blue
Mayne tomorrow my life will find a different new

PTSD 4 Letters Big Impact

PTSD may seem like 4 small letters to some, but to those that suffer, those 4 little letters make the biggest impact. In this PodCast I touch base on the overview of PTSD, symptoms, intrusive memories, avoidance, negative thinking and mood, physical and emotional reactions, when to see a doctor or seek help, risk factors, coping strategies and stories of myself. PTSD is no joke and is nothing to be ashamed of or have to go through alone. Sometimes the biggest battles are in our very own minds. 

Mental State of Mind - Bipolar and Finding My Self Worth

Finding a way to accept who you are can be a challenge. Recognizing and self-identifying yourself can cause you to feel out of place in life and "different" than those around you. Sometimes a feeling of "fitting in" or "belonging is one of your biggest obstacles in your emotional roller-coaster in life. I am very candid and realistic about myself and talk about my Bipolar Disorder in this episode as well as other parts of myself in my other episodes. please feel free to check them out as well. 

My Mental State of Mind - OCD and Me

Having a "mental disorder" doesn't make you a freak. Sometimes recognizing who you are is the greatest challenge. OCD is misunderstood by many. It is not a matter of cleaning a lot. I have made this PodCast in hopes to not only give myself self-reassurance in my own mental identification, but also help others that may need it as well. This is part one of others that I am working on to post. I am very candid on my well-being and have come a long way in my journey that I have been traveling. However, I know that there are others that are in a place that they feel has no way out. I hope my PodCasts can find a way to help bring comfort and understanding for you in some way. If you are battling with depression or any overwhelming thoughts, please reach out to someone. 988 IS THE SUCIDE HOTLINE. They have trained and understanding professionals that can listen and give you the support you need. Please also check out my other PodCast as well. 

Note To Self - Don’t Go That Way

The Shadow Within
Trying to stay positive can sometimes be hard to do.
Especially when there are times life has given up on you.
The light that was once shining is all but a blur in the dark.
As it shadows around me and brands a heavy mark.
Sometimes the abyss looks be in the eye, as it lures me to its depth.
Sucking any hopes of tomorrow, or anything inside I have left.
It is hard to find reasons to glow right again.
It feels like a hopeless battle, that will someday my life with it end.
It pierces me to the point I am but a memory of myself and a life I had before.
How do I hold strong against its strength, when sometimes the light seems brighter on the other side of the door?
Written By: Dee McVay

Self Reflection-Teach Myself To Reach Myself Is A Whole Other Level

A Stranger's Eyes
I looked through the eyes of a stranger at all the things I didn't want to see. Many bouts with darkness that always tried to run free. Depression found a home in the center of the pain, that took over the world pounding down like rain. The storm grew and knocked down a life that was only trying to live, but the thunder echoed louder, with all it had to give. Trying to seek shelter from home, left the journey feeling lost, abandoned and alone. Finding a way to keep warm from the cold elements of the abyss outside, only left room for any hope to reside. Wiping the sadness away from my eyes, uncovered the mask that was hiding in disguise. Blocking a true reality that was now plain to see. The stranger's eyes I found, actually belonged to me. Written by: Dee McVay

Soo My Personalities Have Questions

Hardest Day
The first year will be the hardest I hear people say,
There will be many moments without you in each passing day.
Time continues, as picture reflections only memories can hold,
Some of which will have stories, never again to be retold.
Holidays will come and go, closing out the year.
With a Christmas ending left, of no holiday cheer.
Presents will be replaced, wrapped only in my eyes,
Hidden by a smile now, displayed as a happy disguise.
There will be only a chair pulled out for me,
As yours reflects the emptiness of where you used to be.
I don’t need Santa to come and put me on his list,
Instead, I pray to GOD, to help get me through, each day you are missed.
                                                                   --- Dee McVay 2023

No Title Again - Just Good Ol’ Me

Just needed to talk and put myself somewhere tonight. 

It’s Me Again - No Script, Just Me. Well, and My Other Personalities

It's Me Again - No Script, Just Me. Well, and My Other Personalities
I think the title can speak for itself. 

No Title, Just Me - Part 2

Here is the part two as promised! No script. No notes. Just me being me, open mic and talking. Please be sure to check out part one. As, well as my other 13 Podcast on here. 
Have a blessed day!